In the hospital for 24 hrs for observation after steroid injections
Facebook Post: 28 weeks. We received news on Tues that baby J is measuring too small for comfort. They don’t know if it’s b/c I’m super small or b/c of the chemo. In the case that I have to deliver early, they want him to be as ready as possible. This means steroids for the little guy to help his lungs develop, and it also means I will be having my last Chemo on monday (at least until baby arrives….not sure what the plan will be after that)
I wanted to go full term (I may still get close) I wanted him to be big and growing closer to normal. I felt helpless and guilty and cried a lot. This isn’t the way I wanted any of this.
Worrying, stressing, and fear will not get me through this.
For me, I do tons of research, educate myself, ask questions, find people who have gone through exactly what I’m going through (Thank you, Mara!), allow the breakdowns, then let go, and move forward with complete faith that no matter what happens, we will all grow from this and hopefully live fuller lives filled with love. Oh yeah, love. Can’t do any of this without love (for myself, for others, from others…especially Sasha….couldn’t do any of this without him) 💕💕💕💕
Facebook post after a massive outpouring of love and support:
Just gotta say that there is not a heavy drop in my heart today because of you guys. Thank you for all the support and love. You lift me up during tough times…and boy, does this world support and lift me too.
My hospital, Providence St. Joseph in Burbank, just continues to ooze love. I noticed it 2.5 years ago during my first surgery here and it continues today. Absolutely everyone I encounter has so much love in their hearts and goes above and beyond to make a difference with their patients (my nurse just brought me a “mocktail”). I also feel safe and supported with my team of doctors and every nurse/admin/volunteer here is a total bonus too.
Just as I was writing this, I was visited by the resident priest who came to pray with me and give the Eucharist. Beyond loved. Thank you.
Home now: I’m home just in time to clean up the house, and make a new batch of Beef Bone Broth in preparation for Monday’s chemo. I’ll post that recipe after this post 🙂 Excited for this to be my last chemo for a while!!! Yay for a break!